Affected others can experience disruption to their studies or work. Consumed with worry and stress, people may struggle to concentrate or attend and in severe cases, dropping out of school or losing jobs. The mental health impacts on affected others can be so severe that some become unable to work. Others may find themselves working overtime or taking on additional jobs to cover gambling debts. The impact on employment means the financial status and prospects of people and households can be affected long term.
During
The stress and emotional and toll on affected others can be overwhelming. Many must manage increased responsibilities at home. This can lead people to struggle at their own work and some have to take time off work due to mental ill-health. Others find themselves needing to increase their work hours or take on additional jobs to compensate for the financial losses to gambling. Sometimes the person with gambling difficulties loses work creating further financial demands on affected others.
I ended up having time off work last year so I’ve got signed off sick because of the work that I do, my job is very demanding…It’s a really fast-paced environment, really pressurized environment but then I’m coming home and I’m having to deal with all the stuff with [partner] with his gambling, worrying about money, worrying whether he’s done it again. If he has done it, what do we need to do today? Who do we need to speak to today to try and resolve it? You never get that break, so it’s constant. I’ve got a three-year-old to look after, nearly three-year-old and then it’s like I’m mothering my husband as well. I just felt like take take take take take from all angles, until it just got to the point where I couldn’t cope anymore, and I had a bit of a breakdown. I got signed off sick and I was off sick for like nine weeks. I’ve never struggled as much as I have since his addiction because I don’t have that person.
My husband] started going a little bit down in mood, feeling a bit more depressed about things, a bit fed up about things. He gave up his job, he just walked out of a job. That was a big thing. You’re just like, well, what are you going to do because we’ve got bills to pay, mortgage to pay, and all the rest of it. When he walked out of his job, it was like, what are we going to do now? I was panicking, to be quite honest, what are we going to do?
I was working. I was doing anything really just to get some money to be perfectly honest. I was doing all sorts of jobs because he wasn’t working at that point. I was doing all sorts of things.
He would transfer me half of what the bills were and then I would pay them all. And that first month, the money never came… and he was constantly making and excuses… I rang him having a bit of a rant about it like you do, for God’s sake it was really annoying. And I was working three jobs at the time. I was having to go to another job after work.
He would transfer me half of what the bills were and then I would pay them all. And that first month, the money never came… and he was constantly making and excuses… I rang him having a bit of a rant about it like you do, for God’s sake it was really annoying. And I was working three jobs at the time. I was having to go to another job after work.
I applied to a care home, a dementia care home a mile away from here for a job… I started doing 12-hour shifts. We had dementia patients that hadn’t seen their families for weeks because of COVID, maybe not be able to remember their families next time they see them, some of them passing away and you are the only person there to hold their hand because their family can’t see them. So I went from a very emotional, difficult home life to a job that probably was the worst possible job I could have chosen in my current mental state, but it earned me money and I could do it, so I just did it.
He said this himself now and his employer will therefore be aware that his performance deteriorated. He was not the person performing at the level that he had once been known for, doing really well in his job. He was struggling. So, his employer was suffering as a consequence of him not performing well. He said, he was locking himself away to gamble and he therefore wasn’t even working on occasion.
Legacy
The trauma of being affected by gambling difficulties can have long term effects on self-worth and mental health which can impact on study and work in the long term. In addition, people continue to be affected by the challenges experienced by the person who gambled once the gambling has stopped, such as their mental ill-health or unemployment. The affected other or the person who gambled may be stuck working to repay debts for some time.
My own addictions started to develop and just escalate and at the same time my IBS started to escalate and develop, and I just struggled. So, I basically just managed to scrape by through first, second and third year of three years, the first three years of medicine.
He’s having to work all the hours to try and recoup money to pay off his debt so he’s still not around. Even now I obviously went back to work after that when things were a bit better, he was not gambling anymore, so our financial situation was a little bit better. Even now, it’s still having an impact because he’s working overtime constantly. Like he’s working Saturday and Sunday this week as well as the days in the week that he works, but he doesn’t see that as an issue… But he’s not around and all you ever want when you’re married to someone is to have a partnership. Someone to be there, that’s all we need, that’s what my son needs. It’s not all about buying him lots of presents, he doesn’t need lots of presents. He just wants to days out, he wants to go to the park, he wants to play in the garden.