I remember when I was younger going into pubs and playing on the fruit machines. We would play with him as well, thinking it was a game. I remember seeing him putting money in. I was very young and at that age, you think adults have all the money in the world.

When I was younger and they sat down and chatted and said that they were separating, at the time, it was “mummy and daddy don’t love each other anymore.” This thing is not going to impact you, etc. Then from then as I’ve grown older, I knew relatively soon that it was due to an affair, but then things would come out about him gambling.

I always remember him being taken to the races. He took me for my birthday. I loved horses when I was growing up, used to do horse riding, everything. I thought, “Oh, great, it’s just this.” Now, I’m looking back, because I was like, “We got access to here, we got access to there.” I’m like, “Was that an early VIP scheme?” Because he’s regularly betting, he’s then getting tickets to come to Haydock.

My step mum took control of the finances. His pay packet would go into her account. She would manage it to make sure that her and my younger half-sister were looked after and that they had a roof over their heads and stuff like that.

I think it’s just for me, knowing what I know now and have always seen it like this is that, although my dad had a problem with gambling, that’s not him. It is a part of him. I still see my dad as this guy I look up to, who helped raise me, and has supported me and loved me throughout my life and would always be there.

Gambling ads are just everywhere. I don’t smoke, but if I wanted to smoke, I know exactly where to get some cigarettes. There is no advertising… It needs to be the same with gambling.

Because also from knowing what I know now, there are certain products out there which, they’re designed to keep you engaged and keep putting money in.

Knowing what I know now, I probably see that he was targeted through, well, if he’s regularly gambling and then gets invited to go and watch the races and then by gambling more, they get access to all areas or whatever to the horse racing. Then there’s that incentive to keep gambling and that lifestyle that comes with it.

There doesn’t need to be this bombardment, and also this normalization to children that this is okay, and this is a really fun thing to do, and actually, if you’re not doing it, you’re missing out. It just needs to stop, it’s just everywhere and it’s vile, in my opinion. For example, with my dad and the races, grand national was one of the biggest racing events of the year, and it’s everywhere. During that time, every time I see it, I feel sick, because I’m like, “Oh my God, is my dad seeing this? Is he going to put a bet on because he’s seen advert?”

At the end of the day, there’s a guy here who’s struggling with his mental health as well, and that his actions have never been to upset or hurt anybody. A lot of that is the reason why he’s kept a lot of things to himself, which in the long run has never been the greatest idea or it’s not helped him.

When I’ve mentioned it to my friends, it’s been, oh, right, but not like a judgment. It’s just like, oh, okay, but then I suppose whenever we speak with anybody now, or I speak with anybody about my work, they go, oh, well, I know such and such, or I know someone. There’s a lot of people who also can relate.

I now realize actually how much of an impact it had on my mum. She has a lot of trust issues and money is always a sore topic or a touchy subject with her because she doesn’t have a lot. Maybe sometimes she hasn’t managed it as well, but I also think finance and money is like a real drive for her, like she needs to have it. I feel like that also probably comes from when my dad was gambling. She was at home looking after me and my sister and then she’d not know each week whether they’d have money that weekend or whether things would get paid. She wasn’t in control of it.

There’s also this feeling that I have with my dad that I’m obviously worried that he would start gambling again. From what I understand, he doesn’t. Also, to let that go, that’s out of my control.

My mum and I joined a family affected other group with GamFam. That has absolutely helped my mum understand that the trust issues that she has and her complex around money stems from the relationship she had with my dad… I think for us, it was definitely eye-opening, in fact, that we knew that there’s a lot of things that’s still happening now that happened then. It’s helped my mum in that sense. For myself, I think just being a part of this community, it’s just awareness enough and to actually sympathize with my dad a little bit more.

I think my therapy and help has been through just being in the space and actually feel like I’m doing something about it or contributing to raising awareness.

The reason why I joined [charity], is not only because of my events career background. Before working for the charity, I worked in hotels, but also, I’m an affected other. A family member of mine gambled the majority of my life and so it’s something I’m very passionate about. Also, when I joined, I had no idea whatsoever that gambling harm was as extreme as it was. A lot of more understanding just came up of that.

There needs to be a complete public health awareness that’s made clear, just like tobacco laws of how dangerous this can be. There needs to be update in the gambling laws, which is currently under review and keeps getting disbanded. Basically, holding the industry responsible for the damage that they are causing and also, things like statutory levy to help fund the organizations without the influence of the industry, to raise awareness, educate, treat people, and support.

It doesn’t need to happen. I don’t smoke, but if I wanted to smoke, I know exactly where to get some cigarettes. There is no advertising…There doesn’t need to be this bombardment, and also this normalization to children that this is okay, and this is a really fun thing to do, and actually, if you’re not doing it, you’re missing out. It just needs to stop, it’s just everywhere and it’s vile.

We’re starting to talk about it. It can happen to absolutely anybody… Everybody understands that smoking, drinking, taking drugs is dangerous, gambling needs to be listed in there, 100%.

I think a focus on women and the harms that happens to women. Everybody knows it happens, but I think there’s research to show that it does mainly impact young men, but there are actually so many women out there and just through the work that we’ve been doing and the contact that I’ve had that there needs to be more of a focus on the women who are impacted by gambling either directly or indirectly.