Contributions

I don’t want to get all political about it but the amount of lobbying, the amount of money they throw, the freebies, the hospitality all the MPs get out of like the gambling industry. So, I think it spends the most or the second most, I think I read, and it’s hard to see how things are going to change. They don’t take it very seriously. But the regulations have got to change because they come in in 2005, the world is very different then. I mean, even then I went on to have problems, even back then. That was before smartphones and everything. And now, you’re walking round with a casino in your pocket and the laws are still the same as they were before smartphones even come out and something needs to be done.

Richard
Change

So, I’m sort of on the lookout for how I can sort of help people. And I saw this, and I thought, yeah, I’d be really up for that because the stigma is the worst thing for me. If there was no stigma around it, people weren’t scared to talk to people, then people would open up and things wouldn’t get as out of hand. But it’s the shame. It’s so shameful. Like if you’ve, if you’ve just been paid your month’s wages and you’ve lost it all in a day, how do you go and tell somebody that. It’s like the shame around it is unreal, you just you just can’t. And it’s because people don’t understand. If you turned around to people and you said, Look, I’ve lost all this money, I’m in trouble. If their reaction was right, we’re going to help you and, you know, do what we can and we’ll go and talk to people and be on your side about it, it would be great. But you find most people’s reaction would be the opposite. It’d be like you idiot; they would fall out with you.

Richard
Stigma

So, I always sort of had a bit of an interest in it. And so, yeah, when I was 18, I sort of started going to the bookies now and again, but it wasn’t a problem for years. It was maybe like once or twice a week I might sort of go down and just spend a couple of quid and, you know, spend a couple of hours betting on horses and stuff. And that sort of went on for years. It wasn’t a problem for years. I used to work, I used to have a different job where I travelled around the country a lot, separate to DJing. I used to travel for both my jobs and so I used to stay in hotels and stuff a lot. I was away on my own, a lot. So quite often in the evening, it was sort of something to do when I was on my own. There was always a bookie nearby I could pop in and, you know, have a few bets on the horses or whatever. But it was never really a problem up until the sort of mid-noughties, probably around 2006, 2007, something like that, when the fixed odds betting terminals started appearing. I stayed away from them at first. I used to see everyone sort of throwing their money into them, and I was like, yeah, that’s not for me. And then the worst, stupidest thing I ever did, worst decision of my life was to start playing on those one day, and it spiralled very quickly. Before I knew it, I was like losing everything and it got out of control.

Richard
Gambling Experiences

I’ve always – I have had problems. I’ve had a lot of health problems, which I haven’t known about until quite recently. I got diagnosed with MS a couple of years ago, but I’ve had it for years. I just didn’t sort of know what it was, and it felt like I was going mad at times. And yeah, I mean, that sort of… I’ve also had stuff going on in the background and loads of family problems and stuff over the years that I think just sort of built up. And yeah, it was a release, really. It was kind of like a release from my thoughts in a strange sort of way. My brain used to just go; I couldn’t quieten it down. It just used to go 100 miles an hour all the time and it was a release. It was a way of not having to think about anything. If I was sat in the bookies spinning the wheel or whatever, it was my happiest time.

Richard

That’s probably the most amazing thing, actually how I’ve managed to hold down a job all these years with that going on as well. I’ve never excelled in any of the jobs I’ve had because I’ve always had this other thing going on in the background, but I’ve had some very understanding employers and yeah, it’s been OK, but it’s without a doubt affected it. It’s, you know, there’s people who I used to work with have gone on, been promoted and they’re doing quite well now, whereas I always stayed on the same level because I wasn’t throwing myself into the work, I was throwing myself into gambling, basically.

Richard
Harm

I had a job originally. I started when I was 18, through until I was about 33, 34. I think I did it for about 15, 16 years or something like that. I used to travel all over the country with that, like jumping in and out of rivers and reservoirs, fitting measuring equipment. And it was really good, and they were really patient with me because there was lots of situations where I obviously I would be working away and I would lose all my money so I couldn’t pay for the hotel or whatever or my food and stuff like that. And again, you have to make up these excuses. You sort of lie; Oh, you know, I’ve had this bill I’ve had to pay you or something. You haven’t really, you’ve lost all in the bookies. And they were very patient. Why they didn’t fire me long before I don’t know because there were times where you just weren’t thinking about the job. So, I’d go off with the job to do, and it was like, get it done as quickly as I can to. I don’t care if it’s bad quality. It was just getting the minimum done as quickly as possible so I can get home and get to the bookies or whatever it was or, you know, get back, get back to the hotel so I can get my laptop and start playing poker or whatever it is. And they were really patient, but it really did affect my job. I could have done quite well at that. Well, funnily enough, my health put paid to it in the end. I still wouldn’t be able to do it anymore. But yeah, I mean, I could have gone on to have quite a good career in that, but I really stalled because I just used to do the bare minimum because all I could think about 24/7 was gambling.

Richard
Harm

I had a very good friend who I used to see a lot and it was a 30th birthday party and I couldn’t go because it was down in Bristol and I’d lost all my money that week, as I used to do all the time. I was planning on going down and I couldn’t make it because I had no money and it’s so shameful. You feel so shameful. I just didn’t know what to say, so I just didn’t say anything. And she got really upset that I didn’t go. So, I came clean, and I think it was the first person I properly told. I said “look, I’m having this major problem. I lost like two grand in the last week, and I just had nothing to come to your party. I wanted to, trust me”. Thinking, it felt like a bit of a release at first. Like I’ve told someone thinking, oh, you know, it might be the start, something that helps. And they basically deleted me off Facebook and haven’t spoken to me since in ten years. So, it really put me off talking to people about it because people just don’t understand.

Richard
Harm

It got bad. I really wasn’t thinking of others or anything. And yeah, so then back at the start of the year, my girlfriend had enough and kicked me out the house. So, I’ve been back at my Mum’s since and it was at this point I was like right, I’ve got to do something about this now

Richard
Harm

And yeah, it put me off talking to people, so I was desperately searching around on the internet. It all costs money as well, that’s the thing. I used to find lots of people offering magic solutions to it, and it always costs money. So, my mum used to help me out really. Well, she used to lend me money for stuff like that. I did try this like online course. It was a bit like a therapy sort of thing. They just used to ask you loads of questions and I used to fill them in and send it back. But it was like, it really didn’t help me. I tried like, the doctors sent me, I had CBT a few times. Although I quite enjoyed it in a way, it was sort of good to talk to someone and felt good to open up a bit. It didn’t really help me, I don’t think, in that sort of way. Certainly not where the gambling was concerned.

Richard
Recovery

Yeah, it’s a tough one, but there’s people who understand and like I was saying, I found there’s a lot more online presence now. There’s a lot more people. There’s a hashtag on Twitter like Recovery Posse or something, and there’s all sorts of people struggling with all sorts of addictions on there, and they’re always willing to help. If you go on, they know what it’s like because most people don’t understand. That’s why it’s hard talking to people about it because they just don’t understand. But other people have been through the same thing, they do understand. You know, it’s like they say, a problem shared is a problem halved. And it’s true. You speak to people about it and people who are going through the same thing as you and it can really help

Richard
Recovery

I had a very good friend who I used to see a lot and it was a 30th birthday party and I couldn’t go because it was down in Bristol and I’d lost all my money that week, as I used to do all the time. I was planning on going down and I couldn’t make it because I had no money and it’s so shameful. You feel so shameful. I just didn’t know what to say, so I just didn’t say anything. And she got really upset that I didn’t go. So, I came clean, and I think it was the first person I properly told. I said “look, I’m having this major problem. I lost like two grand in the last week, and I just had nothing to come to your party. I wanted to, trust me”. Thinking, it felt like a bit of a release at first. Like I’ve told someone thinking, oh, you know, it might be the start, something that helps. And they basically deleted me off Facebook and hasn’t spoken to me since in ten years. So, it really put me off talking to people about it because people just don’t understand.

Richard

Before I knew it, I was back playing roulette and stuff like that. I was never as bad as I was years ago. I never lost absolutely everything, but I lost more than I should of. And yeah, it makes it, you’re not a very nice person. It’s hard to explain but inside I know I’m OK, but it’s like you’ve got a malfunctioning brain that just does stuff that you don’t want to do. I don’t think I could have been a very nice person and my girlfriend got fed up and basically finished with me, and that was it. That was the last straw. That was the only thing I cared about in the world. And, yeah, when I lost that, that was it, game over. I decided I’m never doing it again now. And yeah, I’m coming up to the first year and long may it continue.

Richard
Recovery

And then back sort of last year, probably just over a year ago, it was in lockdown and as I was saying before, because I’ve got MS I was classed as high risk. So, I was like isolating completely on my own for a lot of the time. I spent three months living in an attic on my own and basically getting supplies thrown up the stairs once a week. I had joined GamBan or GamStop or whatever it is that sort of bans you. But I was so bored in lockdown, and I found a way around. I found a loophole. So, I was able to start gambling online again, which was an awful thing. And so, yeah, I got back into it, probably about this time last year when and I spent a couple of months – it was never as bad as it was years ago, but it was getting pretty bad. I was losing more than I could afford and it made me go sort of very insular and it turns you into a horrible person. It’s all you can think about.

Richard
Recovery

It started £5, became £10 and it then became £20, then £50 and before you know it, you’d end up having a win. I’d win a couple hundred pounds on the football. Instead of putting it in your pocket, you go back, and you start putting more and more on and before you know, that’s gone and then you’re chasing that loss.

Richard

You know, you’re walking around with a casino in your pocket, 24-7 now. It’s like things have moved on so much. It’s like those machines I used, that’s what started it, but you used to have to physically go to the shop to do that. And then the same games are now available in your pocket and just couldn’t escape from it. So, like every time I slipped up, I would slip up so bad because you’d start and stop playing roulette or whatever on your phone and you just wouldn’t stop until everything was gone.

Richard
Gambling Companies

It was the machines really. The fixed odds betting terminals. It completely changed the playing field. It was, like I was saying before, rather than sort of having one horse race every 10 minutes or having a football match that lasts 90 minutes or whatever it was like, it was instant. It was every 20 seconds you could spin the roulette wheel and it was so addictive and it really spiralled. And I sort of lost interest in sports betting then, to be honest. I very rarely did any. It was all about roulette or slot machines or whatever.

Richard
Gambling Companies

I think it’s really important to break the stigma around it because people are scared to talk to me because people don’t understand. And that’s what they have to do to beat this. If you’re having a problem you have to talk to people about it, and because of the stigma, it really scares people into talking to people about it. And yeah, so I think it’s vitally important if we can make people realize that you know, if someone’s got a problem with gambling addiction, it’s not because they’re a bad person, they’re not evil or whatever. They’ve got a problem which they don’t want. They don’t want to have this problem. And believe me, they’re suffering. They’re not enjoying it. So, yeah, I mean, if people are more understanding about it, then people would be more free to open up and talk about it, and then it won’t get as out of hand. They can get the help they need sooner. It was probably a good 12, 15 years into my gambling before I even started to get help about it. The amount of pain that it’s caused to me and my family and those around me in those years is unbelievable. So, if it could be nipped in the bud in six months, a year or whatever, that’s a lot of pain that you’re saving people having to go through.

Richard
Recovery

And yeah, it put me off talking to people, so I was desperately searching around on the internet. It all costs money as well, that’s the thing. I used to find lots of people offering magic solutions to it, and it always costs money. So, my mum used to help me out really well. She used to lend me money for stuff like that. I did try this like online course. It was a bit like a therapy sort of thing. They just used to ask you loads of questions and I used to fill them in and send it back. But it was like, it really didn’t help me. I tried like, the doctors sent me, I had CBT a few times. Although I quite enjoyed it in a way, it was sort of good to talk to someone and felt good to open up a bit. It didn’t really help me, I don’t think, in that sort of way. Certainly not where the gambling was concerned.

Richard
Change

People know they can have a bet, if they want to have a bet. The free bets like you see risk free £20 or whatever, and it’s not risk free at all. You have to spend it so many times over until you can actually withdraw it. And you know you, you could be hooked by the end. You could get your free £20 on the slots or whatever. You could win a couple hundred pounds and you’ll just keep going and before you know it that £20 has turned into an addiction. It’s like, it’s not risk free. I would get rid of all these incentives, these sign-up bonuses and all of this because they are a con.

Richard
Change

That’s the other thing I would recommend to people as well is the first thing to do is sign up to GamBan, get yourself banned from all online stuff. And yeah, so that’s really good. I think maybe more people could know about it. I think it had been out for perhaps a couple of years before I knew about it. So, I think maybe if that was advertised a bit more rather than seeing adverts for having a bet every five minutes, why not have an advert for sign up and ban yourself from bookies every five minutes.

Richard
Change

Like I mentioned before, the GamStop or whatever it is, you self-exclude from everything, nothing like that existed back then. You could self-exclude from somewhere but there’s so many places. You self-exclude from one, and there’s another popping up every five minutes and it’s like there’s just no escape from it. And the advertising, everything is in your face 24-7. I like watching football and you put that on, and you just can’t avoid it. It’s on every advertising board, on every shirt. It’s just like it’s everywhere.

The cross-selling of products is unreal. You can’t just go on a site and have a bet on the football. You go on there and it’s in your face, roulette, slot machines, casino. And yeah, like I say, even if you win, like I used to do quite well on the football and yeah, even if I’d win a couple hundred quid, you just go straight to the casino, and it would all be gone.

Gambling Companies

It’s horrible. It’s just the nastiest thing ever. I’ve tried all sorts of things over the years. I wasn’t a very good kid, I dabbled with drugs and drink and all sorts years ago, and nothing comes close to the damage gambling does. Compared to anything else, it’s horrible. It’s the worst thing ever. And it’s so readily available. It’s like there’s no hiding from it. It’s like you just can’t. Every time you turn on the TV, the radio, it’s just everywhere at the moment. It’s just, there’s just no escape from it. And yeah, it’s like, it’s like living in hell. Honestly, it’s horrible. It’s not nice, but yeah, hopefully it’s behind me now. But yeah, I know I’ll always have this battle.

Stigma

I think it’s vitally important if we can make people realize that you know, someone’s got a problem with gambling addiction, it’s not because they’re a bad person, they’re not evil or whatever. They’ve got a problem which they don’t want. They don’t want to have this problem. And believe me, they’re suffering. They’re not enjoying it. So, yeah, I mean, if people are more understanding about it, then people would be more free to open up and talk about it, and then it won’t get as out of hand.

Stigma

I’m still not completely open because I know most…I mean, they can’t understand, and I don’t blame people for not understanding because it does seem absolutely crazy. People say to you, just stop. Like, they just don’t understand what it’s like. So, I don’t, I’m not completely open with a lot of people about it.

Stigma

It’s all you can think about. It takes over your brain 24-7 and you do awful things. It doesn’t make you a bad person, honestly. And in your heart, you don’t want to do these things. But it’s like, I say, it’s like being hijacked. Your brain is hijacked, and it makes you do stuff, even though you know there’s so many negative consequences. And you know when you’re doing it, you’re there feeding the money into the machine. I used to call myself an idiot all the time. Like, you idiot, you idiot. And you’re still doing it like, you’re unable to stop yourself.

Stigma

I kept it very much to myself. A lot of my mates had – they knew I had a problem with it, but they didn’t quite grasp how bad it was, I don’t think. And yeah, it put me off talking to people.

Stigma

It’s awful and it takes some getting back as well. I like to think I’m starting to get it back now, but I haven’t been able to enjoy anything else for years, really. I do stuff to pass the time, like I say, I go and watch football and stuff like that, which is it’s OK, but I don’t enjoy it like I used to. Since I used to have those highs of playing roulette or whatever, I’ve had very little interest in anything else ever since.

Harm

But then obviously lockdown, the shops had to shut and there was no way I really wanted to continue that because there was nothing to do. I was stuck in the house. They started having sport on the telly. They started playing football again and again all the adverts start, and I just wanted to just do what I did before. Just have a bet and it was fine. So, I thought I’d be able to do that and I’d found a loophole where I was sort of able to go around [block] and start betting on my phone

Recovery

Compared to anything else, it’s horrible. It’s the worst thing ever. And it’s so readily available. It’s like there’s no hiding from it. It’s like you just can’t. Every time you turn on the TV, the radio, it’s just everywhere at the moment. It’s just, there’s just no escape from it. And yeah, it’s like, it’s like living in hell. Honestly, it’s horrible. It’s not nice, but yeah, hopefully it’s behind me now. But yeah, I know I’ll always have this battle.

Recovery
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