What makes gambling different from other addictions is that it is about money. Staking, winning and losing money is at the core of the activity. People have said it is very hard trying to comprehend how they could behave in such a reckless way with money. They explain that gambling removes the usual meaning and value of money. So, they behave with money in ways people normally would not.
Believing there is always a chance you could win
The chance to win money is a strong motivator for anyone to gamble. People do win money unpredictably. This is a very powerful way to get people to keep repeating a behaviour. Gambling companies design advertising, bets and games to strengthen the experience of winning and to make winning seem more likely. People often have vivid memories of their wins. People carry on gambling because they have won money and believe they can win money again.
I was gambling a lot of the time, for 10 years, so I’ve had lots of wins. And like I said before, you hang on to those and a couple of them I would describe as lucky, even though it’s no more lucky than another win. But as a gambler, so I suppose logically, I would say ignore what I’m saying, but illogically they were more, it was more lucky and when that happens, that’s really, really bad because you think it could happen again.
I mean whereas probably a normal person, should I say, who’s not a gambler like myself, a normal person would probably think, “I’ve lost, walk away. I couldn’t really afford to do that. This is where I stop now,” I would 24 hours later, having felt awful and so down, that bet that should be still fresh in your memory for probably weeks or months after it’s almost just gone like that because you’re then thinking, what can I do? How can I get it back on the next event?
Money becomes the means to gamble
Many have explained that money stops being money and becomes the means to gamble.
People find the whole experience of gambling absorbing and pleasurable. They end up gambling to get this experience. They become physically and psychologically addicted to this experience. In this way gambling is like alcohol, smoking or drugs. Except in gambling, the experience is based on continuously using money. Money becomes the thing people have to use to get the experience they are addicted to.
Gambling companies design bets and games to change how people feel and to be immersive. This is so that people lose track of time and money and gamble more. This is how gambling companies make more money from them.
It made me avoid dealing with the issues that I had to deal with. It was a mask for me and it was like, well, for six hours of my day that I’d lose during, well, not during the day, during the night I’d feel normal. I wouldn’t feel stressed and it’s like, oh, that’s fine, then I don’t need to worry about being depressed or anything like that and it caused me to spend too much money. It is the kind of ups and downs because you feel really happy but then you feel quite sad about it. It doesn’t help any mental health problems at all, even though you think it does at the time.
I was always trying to chase. It wasn’t particularly chasing the money at that stage, because I didn’t really care about the money. It was about going through the routine of waking up, putting the bets on, seeing what the outcome was, and if I won, great, but it would all go back on. I’d never cash anything out. I’d never be left with anything.
It is not real money when you are gambling
People find money stops being real to them when they are gambling.
Some individuals describe being careful with their money in everyday life. Gambling is a different world to them. Therefore, they spend much more.
This happens especially online, as money is seen as just numbers on a screen.
It’d all be online. Doesn’t feel like real money. It’s purely just numbers in your bank account. It’s numbers on a William Hill account. There was never just one. It was whatever bookmakers I was with. It was just numbers. I could never do cash betting. Once I had that physical money in my hands, it was money then. I couldn’t justify spending that money. It was too accessible online.
It is a denial because in your head, you just pass it off as, well it’s just a little thing I do for fun and it’s not affecting anybody. It’s not bad. It’s like justifying when you lose money that you’ve won so well, it wasn’t mine to start with so that doesn’t matter, but it does matter because you could have paid your mortgage with that money, but you’ve just spent it. I think the problem is as well, because it’s online, you’re just pressing a button and you’re not handing over the money, you don’t see how much money you’re passing over until you go to deposit and then you’ve got none left and it’s like, oh it’s all gone.
Some people mention that through gambling, large sums of money have become normal to them. Through gambling, money in everyday life also stops having the value it used to.
I’d put £20 on, then £50, £200 and before I know, I’ve lost all £807. I’ve then deposited another £2000 and just desperate to get back to that £800 that I had…. And yeah, the sums of money are just staggering. And I think it leaves some, it’s left some real, lasting, lasting damage with me there in the sense that I don’t feel like I don’t value money in the same way that I used to. There was a time of day where £100 would have seemed like loads of money to me. It just doesn’t anymore. Numbers seem insignificant and that’s totally as a consequence, obviously of the gambling.
Both winning and losing lead to more gambling
When people are addicted to the gambling experience, both winning and losing money result in them gambling more.
People often say winnings do not feel like real money. It feels free and as if they have extra money to gamble with. Even if they have lost more than they have won.
I would sit there and I’d spend £600 a night just going if I put another £50 on, I can win it back, it’s fine. It doesn’t matter, no one will know. You’re just constantly, even though at the time you don’t see it that you’re chasing the loss you are. Even if there were times where I’d win a lot of money, I’d then gamble what I’d won because I’ll justify it by thinking, well, it wasn’t mine to begin with, I’m not losing money that was mine. It’s always that hope that you can do better, you can do a bit more just a bit more and never comes.
People imagine winning money. They think about what they would do with it if they could win. If they had a win while playing, they often think about how they would clear their debt, or get out of the situation they are in. But in the end, people use anything they win so they can keep on gambling. When they carry on gambling they can lose even more money.
For those who gamble for a big win, it becomes that no win is big enough. This is because they believe they have a chance to win again. They convince themselves that they can use what they have won to win even more.
I don’t think there’s any amount of money you can win as a gambler in the height of addiction that you’re going to walk away from. Once you’ve got it, your mentality changes instantly. When I won that £127,000, I thought to myself “Oh, that’s going to drop in again in a minute”. So there was these fire bonus things that used to be on websites, online sites, and you could spend £2000 on one. And that’s what I was doing. And I thought “Well, how easy that dropped in, I can do that again”.
When people start to lose, they may gamble more to try win their money back. When a person loses, they can panic, feel badly treated, stupid, regretful, angry, or like a failure. Because they are feeling this they may gamble in more risky ways and lose more money.
When people have won a large amount, and then lost it all, these emotions are very strong. They can gamble an even larger amount of money and go to extreme lengths trying to get the big winnings back.
You’re like, “Oh, well, I’ve gambled hundreds. I might as well just do another hundred,” and I just did that, kept doing that, kept doing that and ended up with like £1,000 and I was like, “Oh, well, I’ve just blown a lot of money so I might as well just carry on because I’ve won £17,000 in the past, so why can’t I do it again?” I did that and ended up losing it all. I had nothing. I was like, “Oh my God. I need to bet. I need to win this money back.” I think for me, I was always chasing it. I was always chasing all that money that I lost and accepted it, obviously it was gone and it was my own fault, my own choices, but I think a lot of people think the same, but like once you’re in a deep hole, a dark pit, you think, “Well, I’m there now so what’s the point in stopping?”
Getting money to gamble
Addiction pushes people to gamble. People need money to gamble. They are always trying to get money to gamble. This is damaging. They may borrow or take money from family and friends. They may sell possessions, move money between accounts, get more expensive credit, or commit a crime. Most end short of money, unable to afford essentials and in debt.
And obviously gradually the money progressed, and the amounts started to progress further and further, really. Like I say, up until the point where I got paid at 12 o’clock and 12 o’clock at night, that was a regular occurrence, I’d be checking my bank at 12 o’clock to make sure that my money or my wages had gone in. And within the space of an hour and a half my entire months’ salary had gone and I had no more options to turn to.
I ended up over time with five credit cards, which then turned into two high-cost loans because my credit rating was slowly going down. Getting loans to consolidate that debt to try and just make a clean break of things, and it didn’t. It just created a black hole of more credit that needed to be filled, and very quickly I would get one credit card with a credit limit, and instantly, by using, it would go over that credit limit, and then have to sort that out. I always paid my rent, always paid my bills, but always had no money left to live or to make plans for things and became very isolated as well.
Gambling to deal with financial harm
Some see gambling as the only option they have to replace the funds lost to gambling.
Money is money, and loss of money has very real consequences. When a gambling session ends, people are confronted with these consequences. They are in a ‘financial hole’. They have won money in the past and will justify gambling again. They may have no other way of trying to get the amount of money they need. They may not be able to earn this amount of money in their job.
So in terms of relationship with the people, I then withdraw away. It’s almost like I knew what was coming. I felt that my life was a ticking time bomb and everything was going to be unveiled at some point. And so I was clinging on to gambling. My perspective of it changed with gambling. It was I need the big win to replace the money now, because it had got to a stage, I need that big win, rather than I want it’s enjoyable. It was a need, which in my quest of need to get this big, there was no relationship with anyone else, I was heartless, cold. I was an awful person to be around, awful person to be around.
Some justify using borrowed money or credit to gamble. This is because they convince themselves this is a good use of the money. They believe if they gamble with this money they will be able to win enough to pay off their debts.
I ended up owing my mum £600… I was like, “Oh, can I borrow £100?” This was off an auntie on my dad’s side. She bank transferred me £100, I never paid her back. Even though at the time I had all the intentions of paying them back, but once I had the money in my bank account, I was like, “I could pay them now, or I could put this in Bet365 and win double, double, take it back, give them their money, and then I’ve got money to bet with.”
A lot of gamblers speak of the stress, anxiety, and panic of mounting debt. Some may not have money to pay bills, rent or eat for the month. Many try to figure out how to get money to live on. But when they do, they end up gambling with it. So the search for money starts again. This has been described as an intense way of living on adrenaline, even like a rollercoaster. It stops people thinking clearly.
It ends up where a lot of people in early recovery feel like their brain is fried or that they’re full of electricity. Some of it’s not the gambling, it’s about the managing to get the money. It could be robbing Peter to pay Paul. It could be lying to somebody. It all ends up a bit wheeler dealer where it’s just going right I’ve been paid, for me, I’ve paid my rent and I’ve got absolutely no money left now because I’ve spent it all on gambling in one evening. How am I going to get through the rest of the month? That becomes addictive. It’s just that panic, that lying, winning some money, and feeling like you’ve beaten the bookies.
The financial damage and the implications for those closest to them is one of the main reasons that individuals keep gambling a secret. People have described the shame and self-hatred at ‘not paying their way’, ‘ruining lives’ and taking resources from family and friends. It can cause people to keep gambling. This is because if they stop, they will have to deal with the amount of money they have lost. This is too much to face for many people.
You’ve got access to things to try and help you out to try and get straight but realistically, you’re just going down a deeper and deeper hole and eventually, it could lead to– You hear about people who’ve taken their own lives, because they’ve got in such a mess, the embarrassment, the shame, the money they owe. At times, you do think, “How can I get straight? How can I get back to normal? How can I pay this money back?” Questions are just going over and over in your head and then again, this is when you’re lying awake at night, and you do at times, you get some really dark thoughts as though, “Is there a way out from this?” I can almost understand why people do drastic things because you just don’t think there’s a way out.
Afraid of money
Some people dread having money. This is because having money means they will gamble. Some of them are very anxious about payday. Some have avoided claiming benefits or getting work because having money means they will gamble. Some have spent winnings on things they don’t need. They will spend their money as fast as possible to avoid another gambling session.
I said, “I don’t want money, that’s the one thing I don’t need.” As soon as I have money, that was just a tool for me to gamble then. I used to get really anxious in the 40 hours before payday. This was literally my cycle. I got paid once a month. I used to be nervous, panicking for that 40 hours before I got paid. Then I need to be up until my money cleared into my account. I used to gamble all my wage within the first hour or two.
People have described feeling peace once they gambled away all their money. This is because knowing that all of their money is spent means that they cannot gamble for the time being.
When I finish my single pence, I mean the last pence. Then I come out and burn my cigarette, then I feel like I’m getting some peace. This happen with me. Day by day. It’s like one day, two year, three years. Every time. If I don’t have money in my pocket, I’m just gambling in my gym. Like I found some amount of money with that money, I’m gambling like that. So I cannot push my pain for a single moment.
If I went in the betting shop and lost the first bet it was like a red rag. I wouldn’t rest until I’d either got that tenner back or, and all I used to do was dig a massive hole for myself. Basically, I got to the point where the only time that I’d ever come out of a betting shop when I’d got no money left to lose. I’d lost the whole lot, and then I was happy. Believe it or not, happy I could come out.
All money goes to gambling companies
In this way, people have said they’re stuck in an addiction that makes them behave in damaging ways with money. Both losses and winnings result in more gambling and money to gambling companies. Any money people can get goes to the gambling companies. People point out this means they are very profitable customers. They set out the many ways that gambling companies have encouraged them to get to this point.
If I lose a thousand 2,000, 3,000, 4,000, 5,000, 6,000 with a certain bookmaker, they make it seven eight nine, 10, 11 and all the way up to 41,000. They never stopped me. It only stopped because I ran out of money.